October 20, 2006

Fake Terrorist or die-hard Packer Fan?!

Filed under: Internet, News — J Green @ 5:01 pm

Jake J. BrahmWell, as you probably already know, Milwaukee has been thrust into the nation’s limelight yet again for our beautiful (albeit sometimes poop-filled) lakefront, our striking art museum, our outstanding baseball team…who am I kidding, we know what sells newspapers! Yes, we are home to the latest cause of terror that swept has beyond NFL fans to soccer moms and soccer fans everywhere (‘cuz we know all true soccer fans abhor football!!). A Tosa grocery store clerk, Jake J. Brahm, was the author of a forum posting that threatened “dirty bomb” detonations at several NFL stadiums this upcoming weekend. Personally, I’m not sure if his “prank” was really the result of a competition with some guy in Texas or if he was doing his part to help the Packers get two weeks in a row without a loss!! Regardless, my legal advice to him would be to use the “I’m not a terrorist – I just play one on the internet” defense…or maybe that’s the defense he SHOULDN’T use. Ah, who knows?! I’m a Packers fan…it’s been quite a while since I’ve known anything about a good defense!!! Anyways, Jake has been released on personal recognizance and the date for his next hearing has not yet been set. So I wonder what grocery store this guy works at (please post a comment if you know!)…and I wonder how long his line will be at the store if he wasn’t smart enough to call in sick. ‘Course I’m sure his manager will know he’s just skippin’ work if he follows the news at all!

Update:  I’ve heard that he works (worked?!) at Outpost Natural Foods.  Can anyone confirm or deny that?


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